Monday, November 13, 2017

My Weight Loss Journey Week #10 | Ditching the Scales ♥

Ah weight issues... Something which I've struggled with for many years now. It never fails to amaze me how I only have to look at a doughnut and can put on a stone instantly, yet it takes an age to lose even a pound.

I'm now ten weeks into my weight loss journey but all those insecurities and frustrations I have about my weight and my body are still there, lurking under all my achievements. There are days when I still wake up feeling crap about myself and I hate my appearance. I begin to wonder why I'm not losing weight more rapidly, why I'm not already in those size 14 jeans and why I'm still not feeling more confident in myself.

Then there are the days when I wake up feeling great. The days when my stomach looks a whole lot flatter than it did a few days previous and when my previously too tight clothes are hanging off me. Everyday is different in this weight loss journey but I've learnt that those feelings of insecurity will probably be there no matter what weight I am.

I've had two babies, my body is never going to be lump and bump free again. I'm never going to look like 17 year old me - how I laugh now looking back at what I thought was fat, but I will be as healthy and fit as 17 year old me and that, ultimately, is my biggest goal.

This is why I'm ditching the scales. I'm sick of feeling under pressure to be under a certain number each week. Under pressure to lose any bit of weight I can just so I can feel like I've accomplished something and ignoring all the other goals I've ticked off along the way.

Ten weeks ago I couldn't even run up the stairs without feeling puffed out, now I can run a mile along the road with the buggy not giving two hoots about what people think of me - this was a big achievement for someone who has previously been too self-conscious to even leave the house.

Ten weeks ago I had to leave the top button open on my jeans as they were too tight and uncomfortable. Now they fit great with room to spare and I'm confident enough to wear them daily.

Ten weeks ago I didn't fit in dresses I bought almost two years ago, or the top my mother bought me as a gift last Christmas - today I'm wearing that top and those dresses fit perfectly.

Ten weeks ago I'd eat a whole family sharing bar of chocolate to myself and still end up feeling hungry, now I don't even want the chocolate. I have self control and probably a smaller stomach due to eating smaller, healthier meals.

Ten weeks ago I didn't get off my arse and exercise, now you can't keep me in the house. Those daily walks are my breath of fresh air, a chance to get out and about with just one child in tow (a rarity!) and a chance for me to challenge myself - how quickly can I get around the block, how many hills can I manage... it's now something I weirdly enjoy.

Ten weeks ago I sported a double chin... I now just have one and I will never miss my moon face, ever.

All of these things are far more important than a number on a scale to me. I have goals, I'm ticking them off one by one and I'm damn proud of myself. Yes, I still have treats now and again, I'll never stop loving cake, but walking and jogging is a new love of mine and as long as I keep moving the odd treat is fine.

My new motto is - if you're not moving you ain't losing and I'll continue to be as active as life lets me be.

You can read other updates from my weight loss journey here.

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