Friday, January 23, 2015

Wishing Life Away... ♥

In just three weeks I'm going to be the mother of a two year old. How we've already arrived at this stage I have absolutely no idea, the past two years have been such a blur and being with my son day in, day out I've not even noticed just how much he's grown. People who haven't seen him for months think he's gotten so tall, that his hair has gotten so long and so much curlier and note how independent he is now, when I look at him I just see my son, the beautiful boy I gave birth to almost two years ago. How much he has grown and changed only hit me last night when I sat down and looked through some pictures from this time last year, the boy in those pictures is unrecognisable to the boy I have in front on me today. My boy back then couldn't walk, couldn't talk, crawled everywhere, had the chubbiest little face and had hardly a curl in sight, he now stands in front of me as an independent little toddler who can run quicker than an Olympic gold medalist.

As a mother I've been guilty of wishing his life away, I've been doing this ever since I first found out I was pregnant, my mother told me to enjoy my pregnancy, I of course didn't listen but she of course, was right. As parents we get so excited by every little milestone, the first being the 12 week scan when you get to see your baby growing inside of you for the first time. After that you crave the next scan and wish the weeks away until that day arrives and you get to see them again. After all the scan you wish the days away until the due date and the actual day your baby is born, you wait so long for that day and in reality it all goes by far too quickly and in all honesty apart from some key sentimental moments I can barely remember what happened for the rest of the day after the excitement of labour, delivery and all those precious first meeting moments were over. After that you await the day you can bring baby home and begin your life properly together as a family, getting into a routine and getting to use all those adorable baby products you stocked up on before the little ones arrival. The come the milestones - the first smile, laugh, rolling over, weaning, sitting up, crawling, standing up, walking, talking... I see countless Facebook and Twitter statuses everyday from parenting who simply 'can't wait' for their child to do these things or proclaiming that they have done, I'm guilty of it myself, it's impossible not to be proud of your child, even for the things which may seem so insignificant to others but which mean the world to you, however, instead of wishing for these things to happen so much I wish I had just relished the time it took for my son to learn these things and just simply enjoy each stage instead of looking ahead to the next.

Two months old and unrecognisable to the boy I have in my life today.
There was a time when I couldn't wait for my son to walk. Everyone else's child had begun walking and my little one was still crawling, I wanted to experience the joy of his first steps and record the moment for all and sundry to see too. He's now been walking since Easter Sunday 2014 and I would give my right arm to have even just one day back with my crawling little baby who couldn't outrun me by miles. I'm so mad at myself, why didn't I enjoy those moments more? He had all his life to be walking and running, only a short time to be crawling around, so why did I wish our lives together away?

Last night I had a good, hard think for myself and have decided to just try and live in the moment, enjoy the toddler stage as much as I can and not rush my son to move onto the next milestone of his life too soon. He doesn't as talk as much as I think he can - he understands everything I say - but I'm not going to pressure him to talk, he has all his life to be chatting to me, asking questions and arguing with me in those joyous teenage years (if he's anything like his father and I were like as teenagers anyway!). I am going to enjoy each little mannerism, mood and movement toddlerhood brings, hopefully doing this will help me to remember this stage more than I do the baby one.

So grown up and completely different to that small baby I once knew.
I honestly believe fellow parents are our worst enemies. The over-sharing of our children's milestones and achievements ignites fear in other parents whose children might not have reached those moments yet - you'd be lying if you said you never compared how well your child is doing against other children their age. We then all panic, rush and wish life away, waiting for the next big thing to happen. Why can we just live in the moment, enjoy the present with our children instead of glimpsing so far into the future? I wish I had a time-machine to return to those precious baby moments, the cuddles on my chest where he couldn't move and smelt so sweetly of baby powder and the nights where he slept in our room in the Moses basket, I miss them so much and if I could experience them again I would. Of course, I love having a toddler, everyday is a new adventure and a new thing to learn with them, I just wish I truly appreciated every step that lead to this.

I'm now a stage where I'm thinking about baby number two and when is the right time to try again and add to our family. I know next time I will be more conscious and appreciate pregnancy more, enjoy each moment of having a baby and will not be awaiting those milestones like I did with my son, when they happen they will happen and it's as simple as that. For now I am enjoying my toddler and taking each day as it comes. I am no longer looking ahead to milestones, not just because the next big one is his second birthday and I really don't want to think about that yet, to say I'm emotional is an understand, I feel as though I'm losing hold of my baby, that little spikey, dark haired babe whose early years I wish away too quickly.

My advice to expectant and new parents is to really cherish those amazing baby days, don't anticipate the milestones too much and don't compare your child against other, simply live within the moment and take each day as it comes. People don't lie when they tell you that a childhood really does go by in the blink of an eye.

Do you also feel that you wished life away with your children?
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28 comments

  1. That hair! How beautiful is your little baby boy? I'm guilty of this sometimes, too, as mommies I think we are always a work in progress.

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  2. I don't have any kids, so I can't say that I relate to wishing life away with them- but I am certainly guilty of this in my daily life. It is one of the things I have been trying to work on, is being more present in daily life and appreciative of the little things- like you said, not just waiting for the milestones. I go back and forth between just being excited for my next class to start, or vacation to come, or weekend trip, etc. that it is hard to just enjoy the simple things of everyday life. Like you mentioned, other people and social media certainly don't help this as most people only share the big moments, not the everyday ones.

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  3. I'm definitely guilty of this, too. I had a really rough pregnancy, so it was always "when the nausea goes away," "when the heartburn goes away," "when I'm finally not gigantic again!!" until my daughter was born. And then, I just wanted her to sleep through the night--and then smile--and then crawl--and then walk. I love this early toddler stage that I'm going through now (she's just a few months behind Tyler Lee, and her birthday is in June): it's SUCH a sweet age! Here's to living in the moment more!

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  4. I don't have any kids yet so I can't say that I can relate, just wanted to say that I love the pictures, your baby boy is adorable. Love his hair. :)

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  5. It's crazy how quickly time really does pass, my little girl is almost 2 and a half and i can't quite believe its been that long, I was looking at photos recently of her a few months ago and she's changed so much in that time already! x

    http://www.our-baby-blog.co.uk

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  6. I of course like all moms did this as well and absolutely regret it. I'm even catching myself with my 2 month old saying things like "I can't wait till she walks" and having to stop myself because she is my last and i'm not ready for her to get older yet. Time fly's by so fast and in no time my kids will be all grown. I'm not ready!

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  7. Your son is absolutely gorgeous. Mine are now 13 and 9 and I wish I could slow it all down and take it in more. They will be off soon and it really is so fantastic watching them grow up. Lovely post.

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  8. I dont have kids yet but plenty of friends and family who do! You are so right everyone becomes obsessed with the next phase so quickly...they cant wait until the baby comes, they cant wait until the baby sit up, starts rolling, crawling, walking - it seems like two is the age when the fear kicks in the most. They are usually potty trained around this age and talk more so the baby phase is literally phasing out. I can see how you want to keep the memories but at least you are acknowledging it now - they are only babies for 2 short years then toddlers, children, teens and then adulthood...enjoy it and I will do the same when i finally have kids!

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  9. Your son is adorable!! It seems like just yesterday I had my almost 10 year old. The time flies so fast and seems to go faster as they get older! Happy Early birthday to your little guy!

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  10. How time flies indeed! Thanks for sharing the progress of your adorable little boy! He is so cute! :)

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  11. He was gorgeous then and is gorgeous now! I look at my daughter's baby pictures and I can't believe how fast time goes by. It doesn't feel like it has been over 3 years already!

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  12. Totally agree, I was forever willing my son to reach the next milestone and now he's 26 months I just wonder where on the earth the time has gone! I find it really hard to remember him as a newborn, and the sleepless nights are a distant memory! He's such a little character now and I just want to enjoy him at this age :) xx

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  13. He is the most cutest... handsomest little boy I've seen in a long time. You see my little boy use to be the handsomest too! He had blond hair, blue eyes and one Christmas he was three or four not sure... I think he just turned four and he had blonde hair with bangs & his head was straight, but in the back he had these long blonde locks. He was in a maroon suit and a white turtleneck sweater. I remember it so vividly because he was just so darn cute. Well, when someone said they thought he was a girl I knew it was time that the locks must go. They do grow up so very fast & now his little boy looked the same when he was little, but you see he's ten already.. oh yes.... much too fast. Don't blink! Remember cherished moments and take lots of pics of those quality times!

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  14. Such beautiful photos, I really love them. I can just feel the love and memories.

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  15. Yes, do cherish each of the moments as they pass by for you will never get a "do over." He is a beautiful boy!

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  16. Oh man, he is absolutely gorgeous! His hair is just so beautiful!! Time really does fly, I have young cousins as well so I know how a child growing up can really feel like time flew by. My cousins are aged 2-5 right now, they are just so beautiful and it is just so amazing to see them grow and learn so much and so quick too!

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  17. I was the same way :(
    With my oldest son, I remember very little about his baby/toddler years and have them all marked as accomplishments and milestones but didn't live in the moment enough. I cherish each little thing with my girls and, although I feel like I robbed my oldest in a way, I know I really robbed myself.
    Now we're four in and I desperately want a couple more (although I've said no more babies lol) for this same reason....just to relish in each and every day.

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  18. I spend a lot of my time wishing away too, and I don't even have children yet. Time just flies these days!

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  19. I am not a parent but I see how happy and proud moms & dads my friends are. My feeds in social media are practically 25% baby photos and pics of their children. It's cute when I see them and I'm happy for them. I feel how old I am when I see their kids growing up so fast, lol. I love what you said about living in the moment - I think this is something that a lot of parents tend to overlook.

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  20. Wonderful post!
    I really love the photos!

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  21. HIS HAIR!!!! I'm so guilty of this.....our 13 month old is growing up so fast! I'm finally trying to just enjoy where we are!

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  22. Ah yes we are all guilty of this. As a mother of older children I am now doing the opposite. I am remembering past days and trying to hold back time.
    Reading your posts, regardless of what you say, I do think you are enjoying your young son exactly as he is.
    In years to come this will be a lovely testimony to the love you had for your first born, although your next born mightn't see it like that. My last, (number 4) is forever giving out about how little photographs we have of her!

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  23. He is so cute. I totally agree with you. Although I don't have kids yet, I used to tell my nieces this all the time with their kids. My nieces are young and really wasn't ready for kids, and they would rush the girls to grow up. I would get on them all the time about enjoying this stage and letting the girls be babies. They'll be big girls soon enough. Thanks for this post.

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  24. What a doll. While I wished the pregnancy away until the end, I had good reason. But I never really rushed milestone to milestone. But whether you are wishing for the next mile stone or not, it definitely goes too fast.

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  25. Being a mom and just enjoying your time with your baby is awesome. Most of the time I wonder what's the best age gap between children. I'm now in the phase where I'm also starting to think about my near future as a mother. I think it will be stressful too but worth all the hard work.

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  26. This is a great post indeed. It is so important to cherish every moment we have with our babies because they grow up so fast. We all tend to cry at each milestone too or at least I did for both my boys. Thanks for sharing.

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  27. First -- your little guy is ADORABLE!! Love, love, love the curly hair. And you are so spot on with wishing for the next milestone. We need to take time to live in the moment. Enjoy him turning two!

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  28. Awesome advice! Someone said something very similar to me years ago and I had that "ah-ha" moment. I try to enjoy the moments as they are and see the wonderfulness of each stage. I'll be honest - it's not always easy - especially when you have a toddler and a teen. There are days when you want to run screaming for the hills but then they become your sweet, caring babies and do something so endearing that you want to just freeze that moment in time. The joys of parenthood!

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Peace & love,
Fiona
xo

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