Wednesday, October 05, 2016

Do Babies Choose Their Parents? ♥

Before I had even found out I was pregnant for the second time I was having a bit of a 'stumble upon' night on the net searching random things, one particular night my search was related to angels and spirituality - subjects which I am quite interested in and I came across an article which was debating whether or not babies, when they are spirits, choose which parents they go to in order to give those parents an experience or teach them a lesson which they need to know. 

There were comments from parents who stated some strange things their children had said to them, as if they were here before, things only dead relatives such as grandparents should know and some children had even stated to their parents - "Before I came to meet you I saw you and choose you to be my mummy/daddy". Now this is the internet and people can dramatise, etc. for shock factor but I felt some sort of credibility from these comments. 

For awhile now my eldest has demonstrated some things to me which are explainable, things which he shouldn't know but does. Awhile back a picture of my grandfather appeared underneath our couch, I have no idea how it got there but my son found it and was able to tell me it was "grandad". This was shocking enough at the time to me, but since he's turned three he's also been able to tell me that the man in the photo is called Michael, something which I, nor anyone else has ever told him.

After my second baby was born my eldest also started saying that there was a man in his room at night, and at first he was scared but now he knows he a nice man. That he tells him to "shhh and go to sleep" and that this man is Michael. I know three year olds have a very active imagination but this seems too much to be a complete fairy story about a man who died long before my son was born. It seems that my boy knows a lot more about us all than I had ever expected...
 
When I had my son I always got the impression that he was here before, in fact I tell people this a lot. People have pointed out that he can be quite serious, thoughtful and is like a little philosopher, to me he has an old fashioned presence and if I'm honest I would love it if he had picked myself and Jacek to be his parents and to teach us something in life. 

I imagine him as being a baby spirit in a big white room and seeing all the parents waiting for a beautiful baby but picking his dad and I. It's such a special thing to think that this wonderful child chose us. He's already taught me so much already, mainly the art of patience as before I had him I was like a firecracker, but he's amazing, my little angel man as I affectionately call him.

After I suffered my miscarriage in 2014, the day after my eldest sons first birthday, my friend and I were having a conversation, she also loves all things spiritual and the topic of babies choosing their parents came up, luckily she didn't look at me like I had two heads and knew exactly what I was talking about. The words she said to me that night have been so comforting to me and through the low times I've had since all this happened, like right now, hence why I'm writing this post, I just have to get my thoughts written down, her words have been nothing but a comfort to me. 

In short my friend told me that "my baby knew it couldn't stay with me for long but choose me anyway to be close to me and be loved by me because that baby knew that even after it had left me it would continue to be loved completely and what more could a baby want?"

This words have meant so much to me and have impacted on me so much. In fact as I type this I'm getting quite teary eyed, I just find the whole concept quite beautiful and so comforting, a silver lining to the terrible, heartbreaking experience that is losing a child. 

I wanted to share these words in the hope that other people who have lost their children could also maybe find some comfort in this idea. I know it has been a saviour for me and when I get down I try to see the light and love my unborn baby wanted to bring to me.

Ultimately I do believe that babies choose their parents. I always love to believe in the spiritual side of things, I'm not really one for needing concrete evidence to believe in something and feel hope. 

I do hope that we will meet our unborn baby one day and will be able to thank them for what they have taught us even though they were only with us for such a short time. They personally have taught me to appreciate every moment I have with their big brother, to relish and cherish each second we have together, be patient and to never give up hope or be sad at actions of people who don't really matter. 

*Update* I have since had my beautiful rainbow baby, Beau, who has reconfirmed my belief in the idea that babies choose my parents. Since the moment I found out I was expecting him I felt an overwhelming feeling of happiness and calm, things which I greatly needed in my life at the time.

I strongly believed that my baby would be a happy little soul and I'm delighted to say that my believe became a reality as he is the most joyous, smiley and placid little thing I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. He has brought us all some much needed joy and his beautiful, smiling face reminds me that there's good in everyday - a lesson I was much in need of learning.

To my beautiful, wonderful children and all the lessons they have taught me, thank you 
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40 comments

  1. I'm agree with your all thoughts as being a Mom :)

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  2. This was an amazing post you are a Good mother <3 :)

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  3. awe I love this! If they do, I am sure glad that mine chose me :)

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  4. Really enjoyed reading this. Our daughter was born via fertility treatment on the second attempt. There was a time when we thought we would not have children. So I always feel she is our angel.
    If only more people would realise that having children is not a right, they sould be treated as a blessing.

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  5. That is such an inspiring post, truly every child is special for it's parents !!!!!

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  6. I'm sorry you went through a miscarriage but im glad you still see the better side of life :)

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  7. You have an adorable son ,that is what it really matters now,if you want to hear our thoughts..

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  8. wow never even thought of children choosing their parents before, it sure is an interesting thought!

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  9. Its a beautiful thought, but my children would highly disagree! lol

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  10. this is such an interesting post, incredibly inspiring. x

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  11. Have read aout this type of thing before - so interesting!

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  12. What a really lovely way to look at it. I'm really glad my daughter 'chose' me and her dad :)

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  13. I believe you are meant to have the kids you do. I have 3, soon to be 4 kiddos and each one tests me and teaches me in different ways. I love them all =)

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  14. Very inspiring post. I'm very sorry about your misscarriage :(

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  15. I think that God lovingly plans wich is better for every parent and baby =)

    All the best for you

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  16. What a lovely post, I totally agree with your thoughts :) x

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  17. Beautiful! Never thought of it that way, but when I do it makes sense!

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  18. This is a lovely way to think - I would hope my children chose me. Thank you for this lovely post :)

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  19. I've never really thought about this before but it kind of does make sense :)

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  20. This has crossed my mind before, it's an interesting and cute idea!

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  21. I'm the opposite to you, in that I feel a need for proof or 'evidence' before I can let myself believe it. I guess it comes from being a scientist. I wish I could have your way of thinking though, as it must give you a lot of comfort and strength at times. Sometimes we all need a bit of that in our lives.

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  22. This is one of those rarest posts that bring both tears in the eyes and smile on the lips.
    P.S. your baby is soo cute. xoxox

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  23. I know, the love of a child can help you to carry on :)

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  24. What a beautiful post... You are truly such a gentle loving soul... Wishing all the best! :)

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  25. This is a lovely thought-provoking post Fiona :) I am glad that you have been able to take comfort from your friend's words. I have just seen your latest photo update on Tyler Lee, and I agree...he does look very serious eomtimes less his handsome heart! Still thinking of you xxx

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  26. What a lovely post, such a great way of thinking, I'm not a mom yet but I agree with everything.
    You are a great mom and a very lucky one, Tyler Lee is adorable.

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  27. I'm not sure if I believe that babies get to choose their parents but I am interested in spiritual stuff and feel that it's not just random and we either already know each other or it gets decided that we should be put together. I believe in the idea that we have lots of soul mates that we are predestined to meet in this life to teach us something, and that can include our family, close friends, even people we don't get along with, not just romantic soul mates. I like to believe that we do get reunited with the people we love in some way or another x

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  28. And I think young children are the closest thing to an angel, or something similar

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  29. Lovely post, Fiona!
    I want to believe that babies choose their parents.

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  30. Your post is sweet, and it makes me think about a lot of things. Hope you have a wonderful day!

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  31. This is such a beautiful post, my eyes welled up with tears reading it. Like you, I believe that babies choose their parents for whatever reason. I'm currently pregnant with my second child (a boy!) who is due in January. In February, after trying unsuccessfully for months again to get pregnant, a medium told me that I would be expecting very soon and that it would be a boy who would turn out to be a talented sportsperson. She even guessed the month of conception. I was so skeptical but low and behold, here he is now is. I have no idea how she knew this but I like to think she could see him there waiting for me, waiting for the right time. Thanks for such a lovely post. I've just mentioned on Facebook, that it's the first time I've discovered you blog but certainly won't be the last. :) X

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  32. I'm so glad that you reshared this, it's beautiful. The words from your friend are lovely and nearly brought a tear to my eye. Thank you for joining the #weekendblogshare

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Thank you for reading my blog and taking the time to comment. I appreciate all your comments and try to reply whenever I can.

Peace & love,
Fiona
xo

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