Saturday, May 26, 2018

Trying To Conceive Stories ♥

Falling pregnant - something which I always thought would be so simple, but sadly it wasn't. In our case, our trying to conceive journeys were marred with a long wait for those two positive lines on a pregnancy test, a devastating miscarriage and lots of moments of doubt about whether or not it would actually happen for us.

The subject of trying for a baby has come to the forefront of my mind this week when I was discussing with Jacek about the possibility of a third baby in our future. We've both agreed that it's something we both want, just not right now...

Beau seems far too young to us at the moment, still very much 'the baby' of the family, even though he turned two last week. However, if we wanted the same three year, three month age gap between Beau and a younger sibling as with him and Tyler, it would mean that I would have to fall pregnant by November - this seems far too quick for my liking!

What I worry about though, when it comes to the age gap issue, is just how long it took for us to conceive our boys - 11 months for Tyler and over a year for Beau. Now is not the time for us to have a third, but I also don't want my boys to be too much older than their future sibling either... especially if it takes so long to conceive again or, and fingers crossed it never happens to us ever again, I suffer another miscarriage.

It was actually suggested to us that the miscarriage could have been because our baby was a girl. Other family members have suffered miscarriages and there are no girls on Jacek's side of the family... I'm not sure how likely this was to be the cause, but I think I would be devastated if it was. I have always wanted a daughter.

I know so many people who thought like us, for whom trying to get pregnant isn't something that has happened easily. When I wrote my post asking 'How Are Babies Made' back in August 2015, my mind was plagued with doubt and worry that perhaps we'd never have our little rainbow baby - little did I know that we would conceive Beau the following week!

The one bit of advice that I was given, and which seemed to work, when it came to trying to conceive was to 'not think about it too much'. It's as if all the worry was a block and once I learned to relax and have a more positive mindset, I was able to become pregnant - has anyone else had this experience?

Thankfully we were able to conceive both our sons naturally, albeit with some wait, but I know people whose partners only need to look at them for them to fall pregnant. On the other end of the scale we have family members who've had to undergo several rounds of IVF treatment in order conceive - and thankfully it was successful for them.

Some people may also have an infertility referral, like Emma from Life According to Mrs Shilts, who was able to to conceive a second beautiful son with the help gained from her referral. It's amazing that all these resources are available to people now and that they're actually so successful in helping people to conceive and have the precious babies they've been longing for.

I know of other people who've had to use a sperm donor in order to conceive, either due to infertility or being in a same sex relationship and thankfully, sperm donation has allowed them to have the family they've always wanted. If this is a route which you're contemplating on taking yourself this guide on how and where to find sperm donors in the UK is really informative. I loved this candid video by Amber from Meet the Wildes on how her and her partner Kirsty chose their sperm donor. It was so interesting to hear about the experience, as someone who has never gone through it myself.

At this moment in time I'm not sure when we will begin trying to conceive again. I would love for us to have our own house first, be more financially stable and have our boys past all of their first huge milestones before welcoming another sibling into the fold.

It's something we have to discuss in further detail and hopefully, when we do decide to start trying again, a new little babe won't keep us waiting as long as it's big brothers did!

Each trying to conceive journey is completely unique to each relationship and individual. Sometimes it can happen in an instant, other times it can take awhile to happen. Some people are able to conceive naturally with no problems while others have to try IVF or sperm donation.

No matter how long or complicated a trying to conceive journey is, the end result is always worth the wait and I'm thankful that through all the trials and tribulations of trying to conceive, we have been blessed with two beautiful and healthy boys to brighten our lives.

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