"A girl would be lovely now you've two boys".
"You'll have to go for the girl".
"You've enough now with two children, there's no need to have any more".
"Two children is more than enough these days, it's selfish to have any more".
"Wouldn't you love to have at least one of each gender?"
Above is just a selection of comments that I've received since having Beau, and as you can see they're mostly based around gender and then polarised opinions about how I should definitely have another child and others on how I should definitely not.
I never knew that happenings which may or may not take part in my womb, would be such a talking point and source of concern for other people. Why does my family unit and family planning make an ounce of difference to anyone apart from my partner and I? It always amazes me what people want to stick their two cents in about when it comes to other people's lives and I don't think I'm wrong in saying that the subject of babies seems to be a socially acceptable thing for people stick their beaks in about - but for me, it's not.
I don't want to feel pressurised by people to have another baby purely because people think I need to have girl, nor do I want to feel like I'm being selfish for wanting a third when I already have two healthy children.
Can I honestly say that Beau is my last baby though? The answer is no, no I can't.
I remember those last few visits to the hospital, breathing in that clean, sterile smell that hospitals have, complaining about the wait and the super hard chairs (so uncomfortable for a heavily pregnant woman), but secretly loving it all and looking forward to seeing my baby on the screen again and having a bit of quiet time and reflection for myself.
Those visits were something I always looked forward to and to think I'll never have anymore of those exciting days makes me quite sad.
I ended up labouring quite quickly with Beau in the end, pains starting at three in the morning, then going away until three o' clock that afternoon - an hour after we had actually left the hospital. He arrived within an hour of us arriving back at the hospital, something I was actually quite relieved about as I had been terrified about the prospect of labour after suffering a very painful thirty-one hour labour with Tyler, but it all happened so fast that I barely had a chance to embrace it all.
As soon as Beau arrived I relished everything I unfortunately didn't get to experience with Tyler after his birth - prolonged skin to skin contact (I remember feeling quite disappointed when the midwife suggested we dress him), being fully aware of what was going on as I didn't have any pain relief and being able to move around and take pictures as I wasn't numb from an epidural.
It was such a beautiful and special time in my life when both my boys were born, the happiest I've ever been, delving into a journey of the unknown both times, but knowing it would be absolutely wonderful, and it really really was.
To think that I'll never carry a baby for nine months again (even though I can't quite say that pregnancy is something I enjoy), go through the whole experience of bringing them into the world, meeting my baby, seeing what they look like, hearing those first little cries and greetings to the world around them, encountering all the milestones along the way, all the funny and charming little moments a child brings, as well as the ups, downs and days when I just want to tear my hair out, makes me quite sad... All these things are part and parcel of being a parent and I love experiencing them all.
I'm not done with the newborn snuggles, the baby wearing, the middle of the night feeds and cuddles, the little baby cries and all the precious emotions and moments a new baby brings to a mother, and until I no longer long for those things, the idea and perchance of a new baby gracing our lives is still a possibility.
To never have another child is something I can't commit to at the moment, so the answer is no, Beau won't be my last baby, not for now, but I also don't want another little babe to grace our lives for another few years yet.
I want to enjoy my little Beau and give him the same amount of time to grow, as I did his brother, before I bring someone new into his life.
I remember those last few visits to the hospital, breathing in that clean, sterile smell that hospitals have, complaining about the wait and the super hard chairs (so uncomfortable for a heavily pregnant woman), but secretly loving it all and looking forward to seeing my baby on the screen again and having a bit of quiet time and reflection for myself.
Those visits were something I always looked forward to and to think I'll never have anymore of those exciting days makes me quite sad.
I ended up labouring quite quickly with Beau in the end, pains starting at three in the morning, then going away until three o' clock that afternoon - an hour after we had actually left the hospital. He arrived within an hour of us arriving back at the hospital, something I was actually quite relieved about as I had been terrified about the prospect of labour after suffering a very painful thirty-one hour labour with Tyler, but it all happened so fast that I barely had a chance to embrace it all.
As soon as Beau arrived I relished everything I unfortunately didn't get to experience with Tyler after his birth - prolonged skin to skin contact (I remember feeling quite disappointed when the midwife suggested we dress him), being fully aware of what was going on as I didn't have any pain relief and being able to move around and take pictures as I wasn't numb from an epidural.
It was such a beautiful and special time in my life when both my boys were born, the happiest I've ever been, delving into a journey of the unknown both times, but knowing it would be absolutely wonderful, and it really really was.
To think that I'll never carry a baby for nine months again (even though I can't quite say that pregnancy is something I enjoy), go through the whole experience of bringing them into the world, meeting my baby, seeing what they look like, hearing those first little cries and greetings to the world around them, encountering all the milestones along the way, all the funny and charming little moments a child brings, as well as the ups, downs and days when I just want to tear my hair out, makes me quite sad... All these things are part and parcel of being a parent and I love experiencing them all.
I'm not done with the newborn snuggles, the baby wearing, the middle of the night feeds and cuddles, the little baby cries and all the precious emotions and moments a new baby brings to a mother, and until I no longer long for those things, the idea and perchance of a new baby gracing our lives is still a possibility.
To never have another child is something I can't commit to at the moment, so the answer is no, Beau won't be my last baby, not for now, but I also don't want another little babe to grace our lives for another few years yet.
I want to enjoy my little Beau and give him the same amount of time to grow, as I did his brother, before I bring someone new into his life.
I think it's difficult statement to make, after all, no one knows what the future has in store for us right? I never thought T would be my only child. We've tried for another and looks like it's not happening to us. I'm okay with that now :)
ReplyDeleteI agree - enjoy what you have now because you never get that time again and each child is precious.
ReplyDeleteI remember people saying those things to me too. How can you be dissatisfied with a beautiful son (I had 3) and it never really entered my head to want a girl. You have two beautiful sons, enjoy them and if you feel like having another then you will, when the time is right for you xxx
ReplyDeleteIt was like reading comments I had when I was younger. I had 3 boy but we decided to have another to make an even number and so 2 could grow up together like the first 2 did. I mention once in my 4th pregnancy gosh it could be a girl and then completely forgot. I just though it was bound to be a boy. I was in shock when I gave birth to my daughter. For years I had all these comments though and it use to really play on my mind.
ReplyDeleteIt's definitely to early to day no more. I had 2 boys and then a 7 year gap before we had our daughter. I'm definitely done now, 3 is enough for me and with a back condition I can't put myself through pregnancy again. Plus I now feel my family is complete.
ReplyDeleteomg! how cute and sweet! I hope you enjoy your time with him and don't think too much about what other people say, as they always are going to say something lol x
ReplyDeleteBeau is just adorable, as is Tyler Lee and I can see why you want to spend time with them both before making a decision x
ReplyDeleteI still get those questions now even though everyone knows we cannot have anymore but I am relaxed in the knowledge that my family is complete
ReplyDeleteTotally agree - just enjoy what you have now. Little Beau is absolutely adorable!
ReplyDeleteBeau is so sweet! It is amazing how people feel like they can comment on your family set up and if you are going to have anymore. I remember even during the first week of having Evie I was constantly asked if I was going to have another and if I was going to try for a boy next. I couldn't believe people were so brash about it! You have such a gorgeous little one. I hope you're completely enjoying all the newborness. x
ReplyDeleteSuch a sweet post. I did t think I would have any more after my older two but then I met Neil and we had the twins but that is it 4 is enough for me no more. I do get broody though and love new babies the smell the whole experience that goes with it
ReplyDelete