Thursday, April 30, 2015

The Trouble With Two... ♥

Cheeky two year old sticking his tongue out at his Daddy.
It's official, my lovely, placid, happy little boy has hit the 'terrible twos stage', it didn't take long as he's only twenty-six months old at the moment but I really do see a change in him, and not for the better. If I'm completely honest it has been really hard going with him lately. Now don't get me wrong, he's not naughty or anything, in fact, I never have any complaints about his behaviour, apart from him doing some silly things from time to time but really he's as good as gold. The trouble with two, you see, is the unexplained constant crying, the whinging, the tantrums, the new fad of collapsing to the ground and banging his head on it when he doesn't get his own way... whoever said that the newborn stage was hard, you couldn't be further away from the truth. The newborn days are a glistening distant memory of calm, happiness and quiet, these days are loud, very loud, filled with shouting and crying and I feel as though I can't do anything right for him at the moment.

I know that almost all toddlers go through this stage, but when people used to refer to the 'terrible twos' I'd laugh it off, naively thinking that it wouldn't be that bad at all but I was wrong, very wrong. My son isn't able to talk a lot yet (although I am completely convinced he knows how, he just doesn't) so he can't express himself to me, he can't tell me what's frustrating him or what he wants and most days are a constant guessing game of trying to figure out what he's wanting. As a parent I am lost, I feel as if I am failing him. He's only two, why isn't he happy? Why isn't he giggling and laughing like he used to instead of turning into the anti-Christ every time he doesn't get his way or is told no? The way he roars and screams just breaks me and I usually end up giving in to him.

I don't usually share these parenting predicaments I face on a daily basis on the blog as I like my blog to be my escape, my place to share all I love with the world and so on, but as I lay in my bed last night, toddler in arms, my arm going dead from the weight of his head but afraid to move for fear of waking him, him all tuckered out from the screaming and flailing about session he just had minutes before, I felt I had to write about my experience with him at the moment, to leave other parents know about the realities and the trouble with two. This is all completely normal behaviour for a toddler of course but it can be draining and with my already lack of inspiration, my blog has been on the back burner and I don't know how to turn things around.

I had been awfully broody for another baby recently but this also has to go on the back burner. At the moment my son needs me to just be his mummy. I need to focus all my attention on him, helping him with his speech, helping him express his emotions in a way that don't result in him banging his head off the ground in anger. Kudos to parents who have two or more children three and under, I really don't know how you do it because I know I couldn't, not right now.

Two can be amazing, two can be wonderful, an adventure of learning new things and exploring more of the world and a cascade of cuddles and kisses for no reason at all, but two can also be trouble, frustrating, defeating and exhausting. I hope my boy is back to his happier self so and this constant crying stage is over with quickly, I need my Tyler Smiler back.

Did your toddler go through a stage like this when they turned two?



  1. Peace and love to you - although it seems like a lifetime ago now my two are going into their teens, it wasnt actually that long ago and I remember it well. what can I say - yes it's awful and yes, it will pass.But that is not much help to you at the moment.

    I chose to have my second baby when my daughter was 21 months old. in many ways having the second one around actually made the terrible twos a bit easier to bear for me. I knew I couldnt always give in to number one because number two needed me too. i also relied for help on a very lovely wise and kind friend whose children were each 2 years older than mine and who taught me to be strong, not to accept any nonsense and to get through it all.

    You will be fine - and your blog will be fine too. Take a break and it will still be here when you are ready for it x

  2. I had a horrific time with S when he was that age and I was so young and so clueless, I didn't know what was happening or how to deal with it! My lads are 19 months now and I have had a few banging-head-on-floor incidents but I think it's all part of it, if YOU can remain as calm as possible and just help him through it, it won't be as bad for you. Because he won't remember the tantrums, the tears, the headbanging - he'll remember how his Mum held him and how he felt safe even when he wasn't quite sure what was going on in his own little world. You be his constant and you will all get through it together xx

  3. Hey you're not alone, this motherhood lark isn't as easy as people think! Elliot is 29 months now and I've definitely noticed a change in his behaviour over the last few months. He is going through a pushing and shoving phase at the moment and when I go to playgroups I have to watch him like a hawk incase he pushes someone over. If I'm honest, its kind of made me stay away from playgroups because its too stressful especially if its within a group of mums I don't know very well. I just feel like I'm shouting "Elliot!!" all the blimmin time! I've been told its a phase so here's hoping it passes soon. Lots of luck with Tyler Lee, stay strong and remember you're not in it alone! xx

  4. My nearly 3 year old still goes through it. Lol so good luck for going through this for a year. :)

  5. I love to read posts like this Fiona, I think it helps you as the writer to let your frustrations out and I think it helps readers to feel that they're not alone too.

    Tyne can talk really well but he has been exactly the same lately - all the same screaming, whining, flailing around when he cant have his way. And I also tend to just give in coz who has the energy for that?!?!!

    It'll get has to or else there'd be a lot more 2 year olds left on doorsteps ;) (I'm joking....kinda...) xx

  6. I'm going through this right now, Harry turned two in February aswell.........such a hard stage, it's just one tantrum after another :(

  7. Oh bless you, I know how it feels. The one thing you always hope for as a parent is to not fail by your kids and yet at times like this, we ask ourselves what we're doing wrong/not doing enough of/where did we go wrong. Dare I say it, even asking if we even LIKE this person we are supposed to love unconditionally. Of course we do, but when you see more of the dark days than the good days, it can be really hard.
    My daughter will be 2.5 in April and my son will be a year old then. An 18m old age gap has been hard and while in some respects it's now easier - I can say no, do timeouts and explain a bit - other things are harder. Like the tantrums for not getting her way, and like pulling kids hair at playgroups because they stole her toy. Some days I want to stay home away from others to avoid a scene. But I know staying home would be more isolating. Had I not fallen pregnant when my daughter was 9 months and still a perfectly cooperative little baby, I'm not sure if we'd have had a second! Thankfully we did and it's beautiful seeing them together. I'm just hoping these days will soon be a distant memory like those first few sleepless months with a newborn (which I agree were sooooo easy in comparison!) Keeo going my lovely - you're doing an amazing job! Ruth (Topfivemum)


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