Having A Baby Isn't What I Imagined... ♥

Before I had my son I had a very idealistic view of babies and what my child would most probably be like. When I thought of babies I thought of classical looking Moses baskets, beautiful crisp white baby linens, little comforters, clean little baby clothes, lots of snuggles and nothing but the adorableness that a newborn baby brings, very Pinterest-esque I'm sure you'll agree! However, when my son was born and as he grew I quickly learned that my prior view on babies was about as far from the truth as you could get. My son was a bundle of pure adorableness for me but everything else didn't live up to my dreamy expectations. My son suffered from reflux, something I hadn't even thought of before he was born and this meant that everything he wore, slept in, played in and cuddled up to got covered in a revolting smelling milky sick. My washing machine was on constantly and I would dress him in the morning only having to change them five minutes later after he had thrown up on everything - no more ideals of clean baby clothes and crisp white linens! My poor boy had to sleep with a soft towel under his head for the first few months of his life, he was never without that towel, it went with him everywhere - pram, play mat, cot, baby swing, I guess you could say this was his first best friend!

Spot the towel.

 I always say that it took about five weeks for my boy to warm to me, something I truly believe and something I wasn't prepared for, I just thought that mothers were always a source of comfort for their babies, that babies gained comfort from hearing their mother's heartbeat but this didn't seem the case with Tyler Lee. My post natal depression may have contributed to me feeling like this but he didn't seem to like to be touched and every time I put my hand near his he would quickly move it away. I didn't feel that closeness from him until he grew older and that's something which makes me quite sad. I put it down to the lack of skin to skin contact after he was born and it's something which really does sadden me and fills me with regret but the situation was out of my hands at the time. Luckily he's his mammy's boy now and can't get enough of kisses and cuddles, something which I am so grateful for and am absolutely besotted by.

The comforter he never warmed to.

As for comforters and cuddly toys, my boy had no love for them when he was born. He didn't snuggle up to them and even as the months went by he didn't have an attachment to any of them until he was about eight months old. This was the complete opposite of my idea of babies always having a special cuddly friend or blanket which they always had to be with, my little one was really changing all my views about babies and what they were really like. It's as if my boy sought out to show me what babies were really like and to be honest we've had lots of funny moments along the way. I can't even tell you the amount of times he's peed on my bed as I was changing his nappy, something which hadn't even crossed my mind before having him! He's been independent from the get go and I feel like we never had that really 'baby baby stage' with him. He's been teaching me lessons since he arrived in my arms and changing how I think about things one step at a time. We don't call him 'the little philosopher' for nothing!

Thank you for sleeping all night!

Looking back now I was really naive when it came to thinking what my baby would be like. I think the element I was missing is that all babies have their own personalities even though they may have similar 'baby' traits such as sleeping a lot, those first smiles, being so tiny, etc. Having my son was a real wake up call for me that life isn't idealistic and even the most precious person in your life might not be exactly what you expected but you know what, my experiences with him have still been an absolute dream even though they weren't what I had first imagined. With all the little things that trashed my ideals of little babies my son taught me some other golden wonders about life with a baby which I hadn't even contemplated before. I thought that all babies didn't sleep throughout the night until they were older but my little angel blessed me by sleeping throughout the night since he was six weeks old - a very pleasant surprise indeed. He taught me how to be patient, dealing with a screaming baby can be hard going and we've had weeks go by in his earlier months when all he did was cry and all I did was cry, it was a horrible time in our journey together but we got through it. He's also taught me that those clean baby clothes which I had been so particular about were meant to be worn and get destroyed in stains, yes, even that beautiful quilted Emile et Rose coat which was too stunning to get ruined, right now it's now covered in biscotti and awaiting a wash... What fun would a childhood be with pristine clothes, unplayed toys and a clean house? No fun at all.

My beautiful boy completely turned my thoughts on babies upside down. Yes all the baby things are extremely cute and beautiful but they are not the be all and end all. Babies are not just little precious bundles to be cooed over and brought up in a prim and proper style manner, they are little people with big personalities that need to be learned, cherished and loved through all the magic and mishaps, bodily fluids, snotty noses, screaming fits, tears, tantrums, cuddles and giggles. It's not perfect but it's just right.