Tuesday, October 24, 2017

5 Things I Find Difficult As A Parent ♥

Parenting really is one of life's biggest mysteries. No one really knows if they're doing it right and there's no one way of doing it either, yet we all just muddle along and hope for the best.

These past few days I've been cooped up indoors with the kids and it's become very apparent to me that there are some things I find very difficult as a parent. I had to air them here on the blog as I always find that writing things down is the best therapy and maybe there'll be others out there who share the same challenges I do and then I won't feel as much as a failure - because I do, I really feel like a failure as a mother when it comes to these things.

Understanding and embracing my children's interests
This isn't a problem when it comes to Beau, he's just a baby and is only learning himself what he's interested in, but right now he seems to love dinkies, balls and stacking things. That's all fine with with, I used to play with dinkies myself as a child and I think he's adorable always having a little car in hand.

Tyler's interests on the other hand are whole other story for me. There are some things he's interested in that I find really endearing. He loves playing house, pretend play games and at the age of four he's still besotted by his cuddly toys - this is the sweetest thing. I've spoken before about his obsession with washing machines and honestly, I am so over the constant washing machine talk, games and everything else to do with them.

This obsession has been going on for over two years now and I've honestly had enough. I try to speak to him about other things, steer his interests in other directions - I ended up watching WWE for an hour in an effort to get him to like sports (the rougher the better I thought in his case) but nope, everything comes back to washing machines. Everyone tells me it's just a phase and he'll grow out of it, but will he? It's been going on so long now that I don't see an end and honestly, I feel like a horrible person when I wish that my child was just interested in something normal, or at least something that I could embrace and take an interest in too.

Discipline
God I hate it. In some ways it's the biggest challenge I face on a daily basis and I usually just find myself saying - "Stop please. Stop. Stop. Stop it. Stop" until I eventually erupt. I find that time-out works best for us as both boys hate to be excluded from anything, but it's the keeping them in their rooms long enough for it to be an actual punishment that I struggle with. I always seem to end up feeling sorry for them, even though a time-out was justified. I need to grow more of a backbone with the discipline and honestly, sometimes, I find it so much easier to take the 'good parent' route and just leave it all to Jacek...

The whinging
Good God the whinging... does it ever stop? If one's not at it the other one is and they both have their own way of doing it too so that it absolutely melts my brain. Beau has his 'vibrating phone' as we call it, where he just keeps humming over and over until one of us picks him up. Tyler still has his high-pitched baby cry that really grinds my gears. They will whinge over everything and anything and it is soul destroying.

Having children in different stages of development
This is usually the cause of all the squabbles in the house. Beau thinks he's a big boy and is able to do all that Tyler does, but of course he isn't, which leaves him frustrated when he can't do something and Tyler frustrated when Beau ruins him game. Lots of crying ensues...

In some ways it was a lot easier when Beau was smaller because when he was napping Tyler could play away happily and uninterrupted, now Beau only naps once a day so for the rest of the day they're stuck with each other - whether they like it or not.

Beau is 17 months old but not yet walking, so going on days out can be challenging too when he sees Tyler running along and wants to join him, making a fuss to get out of his buggy. Sometimes I let him, but other times it's just impossible - wet muddy grass and a crawling baby = a nightmare and a very dirty car journey home. Before I had the boys I thought 3 years and 3 months was quite a small gap, but it's not and that just becomes more apparent as the months go by.

Keeping them entertained
We're drowning under a mountain of toys, the eldest knows how to use Kids YouTube on the tablet, we have piles and piles of books, go on walks and outings on a daily basis, yet, they're still not entertained...

My boys are not the kind of children who will readily entertain themselves. They always want me to play and join in - which I must admit I'm not very keen on, I don't know why but I'm just not a playful parent - and if they do play on their own, it's a maximum of twenty minutes before they begin hanging around again.

It's been they way since they were babies and maybe they're just too sociable to want to play on their own, but it's frustrating. I keep saying it but I really will be clearing out the toy mountains as I can't stand seeing things go unplayed. Even when I plan activities for them they just give up after a few minutes, leaving me wondering why I even bothered? Case in point this morning, printing out Halloween colouring pages only for the eldest to tell me he's done after two minutes... why though?

I'd love to know if you're with me facing these difficulties in parenting too?

1 comment

  1. I can relate. I have four kids. The two oldest are 20 months apart and my two youngest are 22 months apart. I stay home with my 3 year old and 14 month old. It can be hard sometimes. Just hang in there Mama.

    ReplyDelete

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