Wednesday, November 16, 2016
Motherhood the Second Time Round ♥
Oh this baby boy of mine, I can't even begin to put into words how absolutely blessed I feel to be his mama. I know the whole 'feeling blessed' thing is such a cliché but I really do mean it and I find myself blurting it out loud on multiple occasions during a week.
When I was pregnant I was so worried about not having any more love to give another child, about how I would fit everything into a day and about whether or not I'd suffer with post-natal depression again... but thankfully all of these things haven't been an issue at all, in fact, I feel quite silly for worrying about them all in the first place when I should have had the belief that everything would be just fine - because it is, it really is.
Beau gives me that same over-emotional sense of love feeling that I've always had with Tyler, and even though he may be my second child, that doesn't mean that he's loved or thought of any less, in fact, this time round I feel as though I'm starting all afresh, not seeing him as my second baby but rather just my baby boy. Another little baby to love, nurture and cherish.
I'm not the mother that I thought I would be second time round. Everything feels a whole lot calmer with Beau and I don't know if it's because I don't have post-natal depression now, or that I'm older (I was three weeks shy of being twenty-three when I gave birth to Tyler) or simply because Beau is the happiest, most placid little being I've ever had the pleasure of being in company with, but I feel calm and very happy these days.
I've done everything different the second time round - I did babywearing from the start, I kept him in his Moses basket in our room for longer, I'm not OCD about having everything sterilised, we get out and about far more than we ever did before, he's almost six months and he's not weaned... it may sound strange, but I feel as if Beau is much more of a 'baby' than Tyler ever was - or maybe I'm just looking at him differently as I'm desperately trying to hold onto the baby days!
Tyler has always had a fiercely independent streak, never wanting to be shown how things work, preferring to figure things out for himself and I've stated on the blog before that I felt as though it took about six weeks for him to warm up to me after his was born - although I do think that his vacuum delivery may have had some contribution to this. Tyler was (and always will be) 'my' baby, as he used to cry if anyone looked at him or went near him, whereas Beau is very friendly and is happy for anyone to hold him - the two of them have given me completely different experiences so far as a mother and both bring me lots of joy in different ways.
I also believe that motherhood is a lot different the second time round as I already have a child to look after, so poor Beau doesn't get to enjoy the sleepy daytime cuddles, mama and baby baths and peaceful quiet time that Tyler did with me.
I'm having so much fun with both boys though, I mean yes, there are times when I want to pull my hair out and wonder what the hell I'm doing, but the majority of the time I have great fun with them both. Tyler's at a stage where his imagination is off the charts and watching him concoct little stories and make believe scenarios is just endearing. He's also the funniest little guy I know, the things he comes out with!
Beau is the happiest little thing ever, who loves it when I speak to him in silly voices and bounce him on my knee. He's also more than happy to be my little muse for all these creative photo shoot ideas I come up with. Photography wasn't something I had really discovered when Tyler was born, although I really did love taking pictures of him, so Beau is the first star for all these fun and whimsy baby shoot ideas I come up with - case in point, sticking him in sinks with flowers and leaves!
Motherhood the second time round is such a lovely experience and I can see why people carry on having more children, as each child really is so different and the experiences they give you as a mother is a totally new adventure too.
For anyone who was like me and worrying about welcoming a second child into their family then all I can say is DON'T. There really is nothing to worry about at all and a new baby finds their space in a family quite quickly. I liken it to pieces of a jigsaw puzzle just slotting into space and this new baby will fill that gap that you never even knew was there.
Motherhood the second time round also brings the joy that is watching your new-found siblings interacting with each other and those little displays of affection, chats and games they come up with, really do make for the most heart-melting memories.
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