How blessed I am to be writing this letter to you. How happy and grateful I am that you chose me to be your mummy, the one who was able to carry you for forty-one weeks exactly, the one who felt you move inside her tummy, the one who gave birth to you, the one who held you for the first time and the one who first whispered "I love you" in your ear. I'm both honoured that you're mine but also that I am yours, a bond that can't be broken, our story waiting to be told.
I'll be honest my precious boy, those forty-one weeks weren't easy, I worried a lot about whether or not you would be meeting us at all and was terrified I would lose you too, as I had done your sibling, the day after your big brother's first birthday. Pregnancy after miscarriage is hard, I worried about every little thing and was always looking for a sign that you would be leaving me. I even confessed to people that I felt as though I wouldn't get a chance to meet you, how relieved and delighted I am that I did.
You see, you are my rainbow baby, the one who has made days brighter after suffering such a loss. People say "you'll get over it" or "it'll be fine", but would you believe, I never do. I still think about that other baby, in fact I shed a few tears for them after you were born, but being able to snuggle a newborn again, to feel all those heartwarming emotions and be filled with overwhelming joy to have you has made me the happiest person I have been in a very long time.
Getting over a loss isn't easy and for a long time I didn't think I'd get to experience being a mother to another child, but along you came making all our days brighter and joy filled. Honestly my boy you are such a dream and I tell this to everyone who will listen. You are the happiest, most placid little baby I have ever had the pleasure to meet and knowing that the rest of my days will be spent with you in them makes me feel like the luckiest person alive.
It's no coincidence that your name is Beau and a handsome little chap you are too. Your big brother must have known how much of a beautiful blessing we were about to received, he chose the perfect name for you. I've affectionately nicknamed you rainbeau (and little Beau peep, but I'll stop that when you're older, promise!), one that suits your colourful personality perfectly. I can't wait to see your little quirks and personality develop over the years, I already know it's going to be lots of fun as you seem to find everything amusing and love to be chatted to. You're a sociable one and a complete pet, I'm besotted by you and all your snuggles.
You've reconfirmed for me that it takes both rain and sunshine to make a rainbow and how lucky I am that my rainBeau is the most wonderful, bright and beautiful I could have ever imagined.
I love you my precious boy.