Friday, May 13, 2016
I'm anxiously awaiting the onset of labour, every cramp or ache makes me feel as though it could be the beginning of something but nothing is progressing... I'd lie if I said I wasn't getting a bit fed up, I just want to meet my baby now and start the next chapter of our lives. Right now I feel like I'm a little bit in limbo and that I can't move forward with anything until baby is here with me. My parents keep ringing me asking me if "anything is happening?", sadly I have to keep saying no. I'm convinced that I'm going to be waiting it out until my hospital appointment next Wednesday where they'll induce me, baby is still kicking away so high up it seems impossible that he or she will move down on their own.
I feel as though I should be doing more, that I should be a lot more prepared than I am. Mine and the baby's hospital bags are almost packed - I keep telling myself that if we need anything else the shopping center is just across the road from the hospital and I can send Jacek over for anything we've forgotten... very relaxed approach to our baby's arrival I know! I'm still terrified of labour - 31 hours of pain with my baby in the wrong position last time hasn't left me feeling prepared this time around, hopefully things will be quicker and smoother this time. I want to be in hospital for a minimal amount of time too but I keep worrying about needing a blood transfusion again due to a suspected blood disorder I may have - the unexplained bruises I keep getting aren't filling me with positivity that I'll escape from needing another transfusion, but I'll live in hope.
I just want to know what my baby looks like now, I'm constantly wondering if they'll look like Tyler Lee. I've had dreams about a baby with very long, blonde eyelashes and light complexion, I wonder if I'm right? A boys name is picked, chosen by Tyler Lee and we can't bring ourselves to change it now, it seems perfect to us, if baby is a girl she won't have a name ready, I have some beautiful names floating around my mind but we'll find the perfect one soon enough I'm sure.
We all want to meet you baby, everything is ready and waiting for you now. Please grace us with your presence soon, we can't wait to begin the next adventure in our lives with you in our arms. As a family we'll be so complete... ♥
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