In less than three weeks, if all goes to plan of course, I will no longer be a mother of one, my son will no longer be an only child and we'll have another precious baby in our nest. If I'm being completely honest, these last few months have been bittersweet for me. Whilst being excited and looking forward to the future with a new baby to take under my mothering wing, I've also been quite sad that my years alone with my son are due to come to an end. At times I even felt guilty and felt as though I should have left him as an only child - the roller-coaster of emotions that a pregnant woman feels for her firstborn are unbelievable, let me tell you! There's no way that I could have left my son as an only child, he's far too sociable for that.
We've slowly begun waving goodbye to the time that I'll affectionately refer to as 'the only child years', a time where I could devote all my love and attention to one little person. During these years my son and I have become not only mother and son but the best of friends too - even though my mother says you can never be friends with your child, she is most definitely wrong by the way... We've come to know almost everything about each other - what makes us happy, what annoys us and what pushes our buttons and we've formed a solid bond which I hope we'll have forever.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried about the new adventure which awaits us, no longer being able to laze with my boy in the mornings - something which he loves to do, cuddles with mummy are something which he's really embraced since I began telling him about the baby. I worry that I won't be able to give him the same kind of attention as I did before, it's been just the two of us for such a long time now - daddy works long hours so it's always been my boy and I - I just hope having a new person contending for my attention doesn't affect him too much.
He relishes the days when he can go out and about with his father and I. He firmly knows and loves the fact that our family is "mummy, daddy, Tyler", it's the sweetest thing to hear him say this and although I've been telling him all about the baby, I don't think he'll fully understand that we'll be growing to a family of four very soon, until the baby is actually someone he can see, hear and hold.
I know that once the baby arrives everything will fall into place and it'll feel as though we were never without him or her. But now, we must wave goodbye to the only child years, the years where I learnt how to be a mother (although I'm quite certain this is a vocation with endless learning opportunities!), formed routines with my son, shaped a calm and familiar lifestyle for us all to enjoy and only just about learnt how to deal with the one child I have - the toddler stage is most definitely a never-ending experience of highs and 'oh my God, what's he doing nows'!
Now our lives are about to descend once more into that unfamiliar, lovely chaos that a new baby brings upon a household. We'll have a new person to discover, learn all about and most importantly love and if that little person smiles just like my firstborn in the pictures I've featured in this post, then I'll know that I created two happy children who I love endlessly... and for that, the sleepless nights, tantrums and juggling life with two little ones in tow will be most definitely worth it.
Goodbye only child years, you've been amazing. I only hope that 'the sibling years' are just as wonderful. I can't wait to see what they have in store for us all.