Wednesday, July 08, 2015

Doing My Own Thing... ♥

All my life I seem to have wanted to gain validation from the people around me, have them admire and applaud what I do, as well accept me for who I am... sadly this hasn't always happened. When I joined the blogging community and began my first blog La Belle Dame Sans Merci (see now why my Facebook page for Dolly Dowsie is called this?) I felt so welcomed and chatted to lots of people, mainly on Twitter, who I could see myself becoming friends with. Fast forward onto last week, over two years into my blogging journey, where I was feeling so lonely once again, feeling like an outsider in the blogging world and as though all my efforts were complete and utter crap. I was ready to throw the towel in on this blogging lark and forget about it all... Then I spoke to a fellow blogger, who I've become quite friendly with recently, and she changed my perspective on everything in just one sentence.

This blogger (J, you know who you are, thank you so much!) told me that she doesn't care who reads her blog, she writes to record all her memories with her son and that's all that matters to her. Oh my God were these words like the little light bulb going on for me, the tah-dah moment, the jolt I needed to remember just why I began blogging in the first place and why I should still be continuing, not for all the wrong, insignificant reasons - such as wanting people to read my words, see my photography and interact with me - these of course would be amazing but they are not the be all and end all.

I initially began blogging to share my love of makeup and beauty. After I had my son Dolly Dowsie was formed and it became my place to document my adventures with my baby boy as well as sharing everything else I love with the world. You have absolutely no idea how much I cherish this blog, it's like another baby to me and having all of my memories and adventures with my family to look back on in one place, on days where I need a pick me up or want to remember what my son was like before he sprouted a head full of golden curls, is so precious and priceless to me.

Who gives a frigg if no one else reads my blog, who cares if people don't like my photography or think what I write about is boring? I enjoy it and that's all that should matter. I became too caught up in stats, comparing myself to other bloggers, feeling so left out of the loop and so alone in this big, bad blogisphere, but honestly, why did I allow myself to become so caught up with the virtual world and neglect my reality?
Why should I care if other bloggers chose to ignore me? After all, they're people I have never and probably will never meet in my entire life. Yes, it would be lovely if we could all get along and support each other and be friends but that's not going to happen with everyone, blogging is, unfortunately, a very competitive world and I've witnessed people not wanting to be there for each other or help each other out at all. To the ones who didn't want to know me or who bitched about me, best of luck in your blogging journeys, I wish you every success.

I have a very small group of friends who are also bloggers, some of whom I've met in 'real life' and some who I've only got to know via their blogs and Facebook messenger. I'm incredibly grateful to know these amazing people, the ones who opened up to me and support me on this little blogging journey of mine, I will always do the same for them. It only takes a second out of your day to show someone kindness and I'm ever so grateful that these girls did that for me.

I now blog for me and my son. I blog to share all I love with the world (lets face it, I'd be lost without my pretty things) and to document all my memories for my son of the times he'll never remember and ones which I possibly won't be able to remember either when I'm old and grey.

Stats don't matter, comments don't matter, admirers don't matter, followers don't matter. Yes these things are all wonderful if they do happen but they are not the reason why anyone should blog or be the reason why anyone should give up a blog either.


To those of you who have chosen to follow mine and my families adventures, thank you from the bottom of my heart. As someone who experiences loneliness on quite a regular basis, your comments have brightened my days on more than one occasion and are always appreciated, more than you'll ever truly know.

This is the start of a new chapter for me. I'm going back to my roots in blogging, not stressing about every little thing and just want to enjoy the ride and any wonderful opportunities which this little blog of mine brings me. The blog has had a makeover, I've had a mind makeover and I'm really to let my creativity flow.

Remember, blog for you and no one else. Don't let anyone bring you down or make you feel bad about your little space on the internet, it's yours and no one else's and quite simply, if they don't like it they can just click that little red x on the top of the browser. Be yourself and enjoy what you do. Let your personality and creativity flow through your blog and don't let anyone bring you down or dull your sparkle. I've learnt the hard way that the less you care about what other people think of you the happier you'll be n life, but believe me, that really is the secret to a happy existence.

Be you, be happy, be beautiful and share what you want, when you want, always.

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26 comments

  1. here here.... to be honest i didn't even know that stats were when i started blogging..... but slowly but surely the obsession creeps in.. i feel to some times like i don't belong or my blog isn't good enough ,,, but as you say, if your doing it for you that's all that matters xx

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  2. I started blogging properly in 2011 and I started purely to record our lives so my children could look back on it when they older.
    I didn't even know about stats and PRs and reviews, sponsored posts etc. When I found out about them, I started checking them all the time and getting upset that I wasn't doing as well as other bloggers,
    I'm now back to writing and taking photos because I love it and I love looking back over the years, seeing the changes in the children that you don't notice in everyday life.
    It's very precious to me and I really don't care about the stats. Whether anyone comments or even reads it doesn't matter because I know my kids are going to find it totally brilliant to be able to look back on their childhood.
    So I agree, blog for you, no one else :oD xx

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  3. It's so rare and refreshing to see other people write about this. I feel the same way. Our blogs are something personal and we sometimes lose track of that and get down on ourselves. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, and giving some of us a bit of confidence. xx

    Yaya || My Dreamality

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  4. I loved this post! I think it's so easy to lose sight of why you started a blog, especially after you've done if for a while. I love that you came back around to see why you started yours, you have a beautiful blog and it will be something special to share with your son one day! XO -Kim
    www.thethirtysomethinglife.com

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  5. I love this post and I am so glad you are continuing to blog - and for all the right reasons too. Blogging is so competitive and it takes the fun out of writing because you want to write. I look forward to continuing to read about your adventures x

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  6. Continue to do the the things you love for you and yours, the passion and dedication behind it will surface in the quality of the articles and readers will also enjoy it so much more. Love your blog!

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  7. Wise words and I definitely need to remember this! It's so easy to get caught up in the stats isn't it. I've been feeling quite stressed recently about keeping on top of blogging (home life also stressful which isn't helping) and I had to tell myself the very same, that I should be blogging for me and not worry about anything else. My blog is a way of Elliot being able to look back on his life and sometimes I lose track of that. I love your blog Fiona, you have a reader for life here xx

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  8. Isn't it wonderful when someone tells us something we already know but it just turns on a light? I have had that happen before too. :)

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  9. I think your friend gave you great advice! Sometimes we get so wrapped in up trying to write what we think people want to read that we totally miss out on what we really should be writing. I'm glad you're getting back to basics and doing what makes you happy.

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  10. This is a very timely post as I, too, felt the same. I was worried at how I'm left behind by the other bloggers I have met. I I was lost in worrying about my blog stats rather than expressing myself through my blog. I hope many bloggers read this especially the newbie ones. It's a good reminder and warning.

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  11. It was only after a year of blogging that I heard about stats and pageranks. I was also disappointed that I didn't do well. Somehow I got obsessed about them and worked hard for my blog. Then I realized that I wasn't doing what I love anymore, which is blogging and writing about the things I love.

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  12. Sorry to hear that you've felt like this lovely. But I'm glad to hear that you're feeling more positive about your blog. Your blog is your space on the Internet, write it for you and not for anyone else :) xx

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  13. I started blogging 4.5 years ago and it seemed so easy back then. No worries about stats or readers ... Oh it was happy lige back then in a way.

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  14. Thanks for sharing. It' great that you're going back to the basics. I definitely tend to make hobbies work and need to find a balance so that it's still for me too.

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  15. This is fantastic! It's so hard not to get caught up in comparisons, but if you are doing what you love and you feel good about what you're writing, the fulfillment will be there. I'm so happy you were reinspired!

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  16. I love this honest Fiona, I did feel a bit like this earlier this year but like your friend said blog for you and not the stats nor that someone needs to read it or will read it.

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  17. Omg just love this!!!! Not going to lie I got caught up in all the blog craziness when my blog first took off...it was so crazy to me that people wanted to pay me to do such random things.... I felt like a sell out though :-/ since then I've once again found myself and am back to blogging what I like most of the time. Hubby gets mad because I now regret offers that don't reflect the reasons I started blogging, but it's MY blog, my passion ;-)

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  18. This is a great post and I am glad you chose to continue for you. I want to start a blog to maybe help others like me that they are not alone in their thoughts or views. Thanks so much for sharing.

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  19. I think when people do what they naturally want to do than their happiness comes through! I think someone's passion and enthusiasm brightens other people's days! Just continue to be you!

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  20. Stats don't matter! my only goal is to do better than i did last month. whats helped my blogging journey is finding local blogger friends

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  21. Good for you! I'm a pretty verbal person and usually state how I feel regardless. :)

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  22. I truly love the message of this blog post of yours. Will certainly follow your footsteps soon!

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  23. Atta girl! The blogging world is HUGE and it's hard to stand out and apart, but that's not why most of us started anyway. I still like being acknowledge from time to time, who doesn't, but that's not why I do it. 4 1/2 years ago when I started I did care about stats, now? PFFT...I like telling stories in a fun and funny way, and whether I get one comment or 100, I do it for me, so stay strong mama and never say die!!!

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  24. I'm not a blogger, so do not understand the stress you put on yourself but, I do know that, I love your blog. I always look forward to your posts because we're very similar in our tastes for things pretty and beautiful. Thank-you for being you. :)

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  25. Keep up the good work. At 41 years of age I often have to remind myself what is right for you is right for you and maybe not for someone else. Thats fine, They must live too. Well done.

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  26. Sounds like you've got it figured out! I am so happy that you are going 'back to basics" with your blogging. I need to take some pointers from the post and do the same!

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Thank you for reading my blog and taking the time to comment. I appreciate all your comments and try to reply whenever I can.

Peace & love,
Fiona
xo

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