Monday, May 18, 2015

Wanting Another Baby... ♥

I would love another little baby in our lives so much, it seems like such an age ago when my son was just this small.
I've recently decided that I would like another baby, another precious child to add to our family, to love, nurture to cherish and a sibling for Tyler Lee to grow up with and love too. I've spoken on the blog before on when is the right time to have a second baby, but this was way back in November 2013 and at that stage I had a little ten month old to contend with and firmly believed that it was not the right time to add to our family, I was completely right and it seemed that fate believed so too when, just three months later I sadly miscarried our second child. Now that our son is well past the age of two, having another baby is something that Jacek and I have been speaking about frequently... well, something I talk at him about really.

When it comes to our relationship he is, and always has been the voice of reason. He goes with what his head says, whereas I always follow my heart and usually this balance works great for us, only on the issue of wanting another baby I am the only left feeling saddened and defeated by the fact he always says - "now is not the time". When I fell pregnant with Tyler Lee I was adamant that I did not want a huge age gap between my children, favouring a smaller age gap between them because in all honesty I think they would be closer if this was the case. Two and a half years would have been my ideal gap, but that window of opportunity is long gone now that our son is going to be two and half in less than three months and I am most definitely not close to giving birth, I'm not even pregnant. Tyler Lee will now be over the age of three before he becomes a big brother and that's not what I wanted and I'm sorry to say that this fact bothers me, a lot. I know it shouldn't as I have one beautiful, healthy child already and am blessed but I wanted him to be close to his sibling(s) and as someone who has only one brother who is four years younger than her I know what it's like not to be close to your sibling at all.

So why do I feel like it's the right time to begin trying for another baby and to add another little person to our family? Well, Jacek is now finished college and will graduate from his law degree in November, this takes a lot of pressure off us as a family in terms of finances and getting to spend quality time together. Hopefully he will get a job in a law firm soon and have a job that is just Monday to Friday, giving us more of a routine in terms of family time. I feel like we're more financially stable at the moment (fingers crossed this continues!) and that we have the means to support another family member. I think that Tyler Lee would benefit from a sibling, he is such a sociable child and I feel like he always looks lost from having no one to play with, he would have made a great twin! Now that Tyler Lee is in playschool three times a week I feel as though I have the time to devote to another child, while still making sure that our son gets all the attention he needs day to day. Tyler Lee is also very independent now, I would ideally like him potty trained before he has a sibling and I think before he's three this will be done. 

Also, I think the fact that I now smile at babies when I'm out and about just confirms my broodiness as this most definitely wasn't something I did before! Does anyone else do this? I feel like such an old woman when I do!

I'm not going to push the issue with Jacek but it would be lovely if he turned around to me someday soon and said he's like to try for another baby too. I really do think it'd be lovely to have another child as part of our family and to see our children grow up together. Yes, being a parent is tough, it's probably the toughest role I have ever taken on in my life but it has also been the most rewarding. I know it's silly but I also worry that due to the previous miscarriage we may have trouble conceiving and if we do that it may happen all over again. I just feel like time is running out and it's crazy to feel this way when I am still still quite young.

When did you have your second child? Is there much of a gap between your children?
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29 comments

  1. I always smile at babies. How could you not?

    Two of my friends have children who are almost six years apart in age, and they get along wonderfully. I'm not advising you to wait that long, but I do think the closeness of siblings might have less to do with closeness in age than you might fear. Whatever you end up with will be the perfect age gap for your family. (But I hope you get to follow your heart really soon...)

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  2. I have two boys. I wanted them to be two years apart, but it didn't workout that way, so they are 3 years apart. I wouldn't want it any other way now, though.

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  3. I don't have any children and I was an only child growing up. I actually did not have a problem with that as I had a load of friends that lived close by. You are obviously ready for a second child and hopefully your husband will feel more financially secure after he gets a job to join you in your wish.

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  4. My kids are 4 years apart except for the youngest who was born 8 years after my son whom we thought would have been the last. Whenever you think it's right for you is the right time I would say.

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  5. My kids are all almost two years apart. My third child was not planned that way though she was a complete surprise! I have to say it almost is never really the right time to have a child it seems so if it doesn’t just happen time seems to get away from us. Hopefully your husband will agree withyou soon! Baby fever is rough to go through!

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  6. I don't have any children but I have grown to the age where I am starting to experience baby fever and it's very overwhelming! I grew up with two brothers (I was the middle child) and we were all pretty much exactly 2 years apart. I think it definitely helped us bond with each other more because there wasn't a huge age gap.

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  7. I only have one child and now I wish she desperately had a sibling, but now it's definitely way too late. 3-4 years apart is not bad at all. I have 2 sisters that are 5 and 7 years older than me, and we are super close. It will work out :-)

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  8. Love that baby picture! Babies always make me smile. I have two wonderful boys and had them timed just about the space that we originally planned. Its rough, baby fever is rough. Timing will come and I look forward to following your journey!

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  9. I'm not a parent myself but my sister and I are three and a half years apart and my mom said that was the PERFECT age difference because she never had two kids in diapers at once <3

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  10. I can only imagine what you feeling as I am not a mummy yet, between me and my brother there is 2 years and we are honestly closer than me and my little sister where there is a 5 year gap between us. I am wishing you all the bless and I am sure when the 'right time' comes it will happen.

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  11. There are ten years between myself and my sister and I hated it. I knew that I wanted my children close in age too. I fell pregnant with Erin when Caleb was 15 months old so she was born 16 days before his 2nd birthday. I love the gap.

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  12. I have three children and there is a big gap between all of my kids. 18, 10 and 6! Looking back I'm thankful for the age gap.

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  13. I have 4 of my own, two of which are twins. I had a big gap between them and the two youngest ones.

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  14. I'm a mom of one year old and I'm really happy and enjoying being a mom. I hope you will get another baby maybe in god's time you will receive it.

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  15. Adding another little one is such a huge family decision. I had planned on spreading out my boys by three or four years, but fate didn't have any of that. My boys are 20 short months apart...thankfully they are the best of friends (and great sleepers!).

    Amanda
    www.queenofthelandoftwigsnberries.com

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  16. My two kids are 2 1/4 years apart, but it took 9 months to get pregnant with my second child so I was actually ready long before that. I'm not sure what made me ready, but I just knew.

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  17. Such a heartfelt post.
    I have five children, like you I would have liked to have them all close in age, however it wasn't to be as a hormone condition left me with issues conceiving and needing a little help. So, there is a gap of 4.5 years between my first two, 11 months between 2 and 3, 6years (!!) between 3 and 4 (I honestly believed we wouldn't be gifted anymore after number 3) and 11 months between 4 and 5!
    I have such a mixture lol :) My 10 year old and 3 year old are the best of friends!
    Nicola xx

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  18. Family planning and deciding when to have another baby is ideal. However, there are more couples now who do not plan and think when they want to expand their family. Some are too busy with work, while others don't mind the age gap. It's just right for Tyler Lee to have a younger bro or sis.

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  19. I guess it's really important that you are ready for the next baby. I hope you get your wish on another baby.

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  20. Hubby and I planned to have just one child after getting married but nine months after I gave buirth, I got pregant again which I am glad I did because having two kids is awesome! I am sure your husband will agree to it someday soon. My hyusband want another one but I am done as I am almost 42 lol.

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  21. having another baby is totally up to the parents.Now a days there are many other aspects you need to see before having another baby, But having a baby is beautiful :) (brook)

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  22. I understand where you're coming from. Originally, I envisioned having two children that were close in age (rather than being 6 years apart), but life had a different idea. :)

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  23. I only have one child, she turns 10 next month and sadly I do not expect to have any more. Too many health issues. I hope everything turns out for the best!

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  24. I have 2 boys and wish we could have more boys. I have to say that children really need a sibling. My mom was an only child and I always heard how lonely she was growing up. I didn't want that for my oldest so we had another. We tried to keep them 2 years apart but after a miscarriage and having a hard time getting pregnant, they ended up 4 years. It's been great so far!

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  25. I can see your points about having a noticeable age gap between children. My brother and I are six years apart in age, and you can really tell the difference – especially when it comes to gender too. As a child, I felt tortured to have a younger brother. But now, we are really close.

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  26. There's 2 1/2 years between Matthew and Chloe. Perfect age I think. Even though he does ignore her a lot a 3 years age gap would be good too.

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  27. We have one who is also two. I'm not sure that I am ready for another one right now. We are still so busy!

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  28. It is truly a big decision when to add another child to your family and really depends on a lot of different things but I think the most important is your desire. I didn't really 'plan' any of my younger children but just let them come as they did which ended up being a bit less than 2 years apart. I love the age spacing they have because it gave me enough time to adjust and now they are each other's perfect playmates and support systems. Many blessings on adding your addition :D

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  29. I have two daughters, Olivia who is 4 next month, & Miley who is 2... I fell pregnant with Miley when Olivia was just 9 months old and although it has been very very hard at times I didn't want the same age gap me and my sister had (16 years!!) ...having said all that I want one more child but I'm now happy to wait a while until these two are both in nursery/school, I couldn't cope with another little one to run around after just yet haha... They love having each other to play with and miss each other when they're apart (almost like twins) I sincerely hope you get your wish xx

    Http://www.itsalwaysdarkestbeforethedawn1.blogspot.co.uk

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Peace & love,
Fiona
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