Everyone knows someone who has sadly passed away, someone who they loved very much and held so dearly in their hearts but who's time to go sadly came, whether it was too soon or expected, it's never easy to fathom and they will never be forgotten. I've only ever known four people who have died, my Nana and Grandad Naughton, my friend Louise and a friends mother, it's lucky in a way to have experienced so few deaths in my life, each terribly sad in their own way.
Recently I feel as though I've been getting messages from Heaven, all coming from my Grandad Naughton. Now some people may think I'm absolutely crazy but please read on before making a judgement and if you still think I'm crazy at the end of this post well then you're more than welcome to your opinion, I get some comfort from these things so that's all that matters to me.
It all started one night last week where I had a dream about being outside a grand estate home with my family. I've been having the most vivid and strangest dreams as of late so this was nothing out of the ordinary but the dream took a turn when my Grandad walked into the dream. It's strange as even though I was in a dream I thought to myself how weird it was that he was there. My grandparents have only featured in my dreams a handful of times since they died and it's usually my Nana who's in them, so to see and talk to my Granda in my dream was a real surprise for me. I can't remember what he said to me in the dream but the strangest thing was I suddenly woke up and got the strong scent of pipe tobacco in my bedroom, a scent which I associate with him as he used to smoke a pipe but gave up doing so a few years before his death. I looked around the darkness of my room seeing only Jacek sleeping soundly next to me and knew that this scent of pipe tobacco wasn't coming from my inside my home, so where was it coming from? I can't remember falling back to sleep but when I woke up in the morning that dream was blazing in my mind.
Imagine my surprise when today Tyler Lee found the above picture of my Grandad out of nowhere. I honestly don't know where he found it or how it ended up in his hands as I thought it was in a book high up on the shelf but there he had it, in his little hands and he was smiling at it. He then began to give the picture kisses, taking it around the room and chattering away as if he was showing it his toys and things that he does. It was so strange to witness but so lovely at the same time. I have to admit, seeing him kiss the picture over and over brought a tear to my eye. My Grandad and I weren't incredibly close but I do have fond memories of him from when I was a little girl and from our holidays together when I was growing up. Before I put Tyler Lee up for his nap I showed him the picture again and asked who it was, he said Granda.
Now I know it sounds silly but I like to think my Granda is giving me messages from Heaven, I don't know why and I don't know why he would choose to do so now as he died on January 5th 2009, but all I can think is that I've been feeling a bit defeated lately, down on myself and wanting to give up on things which I used to love and perhaps he's wanting to spur me on. Two things that my Granda told me stick in my mind a lot, the last time I saw him he told my brother and I that we should stick together because all we have is each other and also that I'd have to work for all I have in life.
One of the things I've been thinking of giving up is this blog, something which I previously hoped to turn into a profession for me. Maybe he's spurring me on not to give up, I absolutely have no idea but what I do know is my Granda is looking out for me and his words are now in the forefront of my mind, making me rethink things and wanting to find my inspiration again.
How wonderful and comforting is it to think that you're still being guided and minded by those you love, even though they haven't been here for quite some time and never will be again.
Thank you Grandad, I love you.