|Some things in life are more important than blogging... like frolicking about with your toddler who won't be small forever.|
Recently I have become to feel disillusioned with the blogging world, something which I never thought would happen but it seems to be increasing day by day. I am not ashamed to say how hard I work on my blog, I am a perfectionist when it comes to its presentation and how I represent myself, my thoughts and my family but recently the workload is becoming too much, especially for something which is just a hobby. Yesterday I spent a total of ten hours preparing posts to go live over the coming days due to review deadlines I had to meet. I felt so under pressure and as though I couldn't relax all day - I never want to feel this way again.
I don't want to feel under pressure when this hobby of mine is something I'm supposed to enjoy. I want my blog to be filled with all the things I love and share with the world and right now the things I am wanting to share the most have been put on the back burner because other posts have had to take priority and because I simply don't have the energy to prepare these posts in the perfect way they should be. This is not right and not how it's supposed to be. This, of course, is all my own fault, I need to learn to say no to people instead of always wanting to be the good girl and help people out whenever I can. I want to spend more time perfecting my photography, being outdoors and simply enjoying life.
I have decided that after my current review posts have gone live that I will not be accepting any review products for awhile, not because I don't want to or couldn't do with the products but because I am simply exhausted and please don't get me wrong, I am so incredibly grateful for every opportunity that comes my way, I am just feeling so under pressure and cannot deal with it anymore. There are some days that I don't eat, I go straight onto the laptop of a morning and that's where I stay until I just can't stare at the screen any longer. There are days when my house falls into ruin because I am too busy working on this blog and this is not the way it should be.
After some upcoming posts have gone live I am taking a break. I need this break to have a rethink and see what direction I want to take in life. I would love to make my blog a professional thing for me but I am constantly overlooked and don't get the opportunities which other bloggers get so right now it's impossible for me to do that. I'm not going to lie, it's frustrating when bloggers with less of a following and who I feel don't have the best of blogs get picked for the same or more opportunities than me, it makes me wonder why I have worked so hard building up a following and making things as perfect as I possibly can. I probably sound like such a bitch, but if I'm not honest then I'm nothing at all. I feel like a lot of people read my blog for the wrong reasons and sometimes I feel quite alone within the blogging world because I don't have any real blogging friends who I can chat to and share my woes with. I no longer feel that it's acceptable for me to spend so long on the laptop, so long working on this blog which doesn't seem to be appreciated by anyone but me, perhaps I'm wrong but when I feel like this I can't see the positives anymore and I can no longer lie awake at night worrying about things that have to be done for the blog and for the people I work with.
I'm feeling burnt out and it's not a good feeling. It's so horrible to feel disillusioned with something you love. I just need a break and a chance to recollect my thought. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, or so I hope.