Monday, January 19, 2015

The Day I Realised Just How Much I Do ♥

This morning I suddenly realised just how much I actually do. I'm sure you've seen it mentioned in my most recent posts (and I'll probably keep harping on about it until I'm better) but I am dying sick with a chest infection and the flu and have been for over three weeks now. My days are now spent coughing up a lung, going between high fevers and chills and having the energy to do nothing but stay in bed and try to sleep off the virus which is beating my immune system so badly. I have no appetite and am finding it hard to drink water as my throat is so sore from coughing so much, therefore, I'm not able to get energy from the things that my body needs. Being this sick has meant a difficult few weeks trying to take care of my toddler as best I can whilst trying to ensure he doesn't get sick also (my hands are raw from being washed so much), trying to keep my home in order, maintaining my blog and also keeping up with everything else which consumes my days. I'm not going to lie, it's been hard and I've begun to feel under pressure.

Today I am like a bear with a sore head. I'm so irritated and getting fed up at the fact that I'm still so ill but the mess in my house has really gotten on my nerves. The place is like a bomb hit it, a disaster zone if you will. I will save your eyes the horror of the mess and myself the embarrassment of sharing how bad it has gotten. I wouldn't mind either but I cleaned every room from top to toe during the week and the place was spotless - it was an effort I'll tell you dealing with a fever whilst doing this but I really can't stand mess. This morning I have come downstairs to a mass of toys everywhere, things all over the coffee table and kitchen table and clean washing being left all over my couch waiting for ironing (please tell me I'm not alone in this being one of the most irritating things in the world?!), yes I'm happy the washing has been done but a couch is for sitting on, why can't it have been sorted and put in a basket to be put away?! It also doesn't help when you clean one room and people then take items from another room and place them on the floor of said clean room - why are you doing this?! (not my toddler either by the way!) *Urge to kill rising*

It's only today that it's hit me just how much I actually do. To those who think stay at home mothers do nothing but sit on their ass all day, you are most definitely wrong! The house has literally fallen apart without my efforts and presence, or lack there of, and all that I do is most definitely obvious this morning. I now have to clean the place from top to bottom again whilst coughing up a lung and struggling to breathe as well as looking after my toddler - those who said mothers are never entitled to a sick day weren't wrong. I am so incredibly irritated by the mess so I can't just leave it there, even though none of it has been made by myself, as I've been consigned to my bed lately.

Let me tell you, being a stay at home mother is hard. I sometimes get the feeling people look down their nose at me because I don't go out to work, well they can most definitely buzz off (I could use a whole host of expletives here but this is a family friendly blog...). To the mothers who manage to run their homes efficiently, look after their children and have a full-time job I whole-heartedly salute you! How you do it I'll never know. It's only now, after 23 months of being a mother, that I truly realise just how much I do everyday. I'm a house-wife without the title of a wife, a stay at home mother responsible for another human being, a cook, a cleaner (or the maid as I like to say), a taxi, a caregiver, an entertainer, a nurse, a storyteller, a playmate, a blogger and a fiancee - I dare someone to tell me again how lovely my life must be sitting on my ass at home each day...

So here's to all the mothers out there, do you realise just how much you do? Give yourself a clap on the back and if no one else appreciates your efforts at least you can acknowledge just how important you are and how fundamental your role is in the everyday life of the family around you. Sure without me, who else would put this mountain of clean clothes away? 

Rant over...and breathe... or at least I wish I could.

*Update* After I expressed my exasperation at clean washing being left on the couch and not being ironed or put away, the other half has taken out the ironing board and begun making a start on the pile Win! Expressing your annoyance at things does work, who'd have thought it?!

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41 comments

  1. So so true!! Ive been them all - a stay at home mum, then a working mum and now, after having my 2nd baby I'm now a stay at home working mum! :) By day I'm all that a stay at home mum is, as above, and by night, when the kids are in bed I start work. Its amazing how much we do isn't it!! :)

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    1. I'm glad you agree with me having done all situations as a mother. It really is amazing how much we can fit into a day!

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  2. Aw Fiona, I know how you feel. I'm a full-time working mum. Soon with 2 kids.
    I'm always wondering how you stay at home mums juggle it all. The 6 months on maternity leave is plenty of at home time for me. I need something to do. I wouldn't be that kind of person that goes out a lot to places because I don't know anyone here with kids and I don't like going on my own. I'm only going when hubby is coming too.
    Well done for doing all the work you do. I think it's time to have pampering weekend.

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    1. Oh Janine, I know it must be so much harder working full-time and having another baby on the way, how do you manage it?! I don't go many places with TL either, I prefer when Jacek is there but most of the time that's not possible as he works so much. Pampering weekend for us both is definitely in order!

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  3. My days off always remind just how much work is involved in being a stay at home mother! Hope you get over this sickness soon, you've had along run of it now xx

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    1. Haha Louise I'd believe it! I don't know how you manage to go to work AND do everything else. Thanks hun, off to the doctor today, hopefully she'll give me some antibiotics x

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  4. You are not alone Fi. My kids are old enough to pick up their own toys before they go to bed most evenings, but its a fight to get them to do it properly. Sometimes its easier to just do it myself (grumbling all the while)...
    The Sink is never empty, even after doing the dishes and starting the dishwasher, there is always a bowl and a cup and a spoon and a knife that came out of the "woodwork".
    The ironing gets done once a month when the pile threatens to fall off the couch that it lives on.
    Its very irritating as I prefer a clean, tidy environment, but I have found a way to make peace with it. The sitting room is now my room. It is the room that I spend most of the day in and I make sure it is clear every morning before I take the kids to school so that when I get home I come into a calm place.
    You will find a balance. Tyler-lee is still small, and it is so difficult with smallies in the house. It will get easier as he gets older, but its going to get worse before it gets better I'm afraid. And get Jacek to help! Tell him I said his Base-Station days are over and he has to do the dishes on the weekends to give you a break.

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    1. Thanks Cindy! He's learning gradually how to pick things up, in all honesty it's his Dad who makes the most mess! At least you have a dishwasher, we don't even have that luxury - wah! It's good that you've made a space just for yourself that you can keep clean and have to yourself, I tried to do that with my bedroom and then Jacek put a load of crap on the floor... grrrrr! He's usually very good but he's tired from work and I'm sick, it's a house keeping stand off!

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    2. My Hubby works long hours as well and I understand that he is tired during the week, so I try t take as much off of his plate then. But weekends are golden in our house and I have asked Dave to take over meals on the weekends except for Sunday Lunch or Dinner. IT gives me a break from having to then drum up ideas for what to eat ans it does give me a break.
      Dave has dumped stuff on the floor on the bedroom as well and I have just picked it all up and dumped it in the bath. Anywhere that is not the bedroom. Or get a big plastic tub and dump his "Stuff" in there. Then when he looks for it you can point him in the general direction. It is all about compromise and finding stuff that works. IT is tough, but you do have to count your other blessings to keep things in perspective. Good Luck!

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    3. I'm glad ye worked on a compromise for the weekends. I try to do that with Jacek too, he's actually a better cook than I am so it works out for the best. Haha I have to try that and put things in the bath! Jacek had a laugh at your base-station comment, funnily enough he asked - "Is that the girl we were chatting to on Twitter too that time"? :)

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  5. I work part time (two days a week) and I can tell you that is by far the easiest of my days! Being a mum/housewife the other five days I am run ragged! Although I wouldn't change it for the world it is by far the hardest job I have ever had. I was ill over Christmas and it is amazing what a day without me doing anything means for our home, a bomb site most definitely covers it. I honestly believe those with an immaculate house and who work full time must never sleep ;)

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    1. Funny that work is actually the easiest days you have isn't it Ellie? You'd never think it if you weren't a mother too. A day without us and the place falls apart! They definitely don't! :)

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  6. You can take comfort is knowing that you are not alone. It's one of those things, once we become moms, we take on a million new roles.

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    1. We really do Robin! It's crazy how much we can fit into a day!

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  7. Stands up to applaud us all! My husband can't coordinate making his own breakfast and looking after the toddler. He forgets that I manage to eat three meals a day, shower, clean the house, run errands and entertain our child all by myself.....he's going to get a hard, sharp shock when he is left to it when I have this baby!

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    1. Oh I totally hear you on that. Jacek often makes his own breakfast and forgets about making the childs, like come on! How we manage to do it all I'll never know! :)

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  8. Great post! I love hearing I`m not the only one who feels like that. x

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    1. Thank you! You're definitely not alone in feeling like this! x

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  9. Totally agree! I think stay at home mother it's a big (but beautiful) job! :)

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  10. I feel you on this post! I'm not a mother, but a stay at home wife. Often, I don't think anybody realizes how much work it is to maintain the entire household. Between household chores, blogging, and my MBA classes- I very rarely take any time off, let alone an entire day 'off work' !

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  11. This is so true. I always thought I was kind of a lazy mom, until I wrote my day out. After writing it out and not even including EVERYTHING, I was so surprised at how much I accomplish in a day.

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  12. Great post. I'm a stay at home father figure who also does VA work all day. It's amazing how much there is to do in a day.

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  13. In complete agreeance.. Sometimes my head spins with everything that needs to get done.. and work at the same time.

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  14. Always tell your significant other. I often drown myself in tasks, just because I'm too stubborn to ask for help.

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  15. Ahhhhh I know how you feel!!! My hubby works ridiculous hours so some days I feel like I go nonstop from the second I wake up until.I go to bed... Just to wake up and do it all again....

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  16. I know exactly how you feel. I could have written this post myself! Hope you start to feel better 100% quickly! I've learned to tell my hubs when I need help or just can't do something especially when sick.

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  17. Aren't women awesome? Such multi-taskers! I hope you feel better. Hugs to you.

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  18. My partner is off work since Christmas. He thinks I do sweet F all. So last Thursday I done NOTHING but fed and dressed the kids. He had no lunch. No dinner. Clothes not ready for training. Dog hair, crumbs, goo and mush everywhere. It was bliss just just sit back and not care. I don't think he will question whay I do ever again haha

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  19. Women are so awesome! We are the only species on earth who can do everything!

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  20. A mothers work is never done. I know this because I do all this stuff too!

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  21. awwww bless you dear, you do a lot hun like a lot and I do not even know who you manage it. I for one have always saluted stay at home mum because that aint an easy job and never has been and you're doing great. Glad to hear Jacek helped but should have been done before you almost broke down lol

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  22. I can't stand it when the house is a mess either....so I feel ya. Especially when you're sick and not able to clean and no one else wants to help.

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  23. It is really crazy how fast the house falls about when mom is sick. Make sure that you take care of you and get to felling better!!!

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  24. Being a mom is the hardest yet the most fulfilling job of all. That I truly believe in. :) We got the flu a week before Christmas last year. Hope you feel better soon.

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  25. Moms definitely do a lot but sometimes you just have to let some things go. Taking care of yourself is important to be able to take care of your family. Sure, the dishes piled up in the sink are annoying, but they'll eventually get done.

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  26. Being a mom is a 24 hour job. We are always in the middle of something that needs to be done.

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  27. Being a stay at home mom, or mom period, has been the hardest job I've ever had. But it's definitely the most rewarding and I know that even thought it's hard day to day, it's give me memories of time with my little ones that I'll cherish forever. They're only little once, so I feel so blessed to be with them all the time. That being said, it's HARD! Hope you feel better soon!!

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  28. Not only with work at home moms but to those who work at home in general but I don't want to put a judgement on it at all. Even if its at home - its still work, there are those who don't work at all.

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  29. Dang. That is a lot! I bet if I sat down and made a list, I would realize that I do a lot too! No wonder we mommies are so exhausted all of the time!

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  30. There is no doubt that a mother is a jack of all trades. I had to stay home one time when my kids were young. I was never so glad to get back to work as I was then. It is true a mothers work is never done.

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  31. Hmm, I realize it, but I don't think anyone else in the house does. ;) My husband is the worse mess offender here... it's a constant battle to keep the kids from picking up his messy habits.

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Thank you for reading my blog and taking the time to comment. I appreciate all your comments and try to reply whenever I can.

Peace & love,
Fiona
xo

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