Recently people who have had babies in the months before or around the same time that I had my son are now announcing their second pregnancies. I am, of course, overjoyed for these people, especially the ones who I am particularly close and fond of, but I must admit that it did make me think about whether or not it is the right time for my fiance and I to plan our second baby. I discussed the issue with him last night and I was quite surprised with the conclusions we came to and how different our answers were when the question was asked - "when do you want to start trying for baby number two?" For me there are many factors to consider before even contemplating having my second child.
I must admit that when I had my son I was mad to have a second baby straight away. It must have been my hormones mingled with all the wonderful things I was feeling, looking at my beautiful tiny baby and thinking having two of these would be amazing. However, as the months have gone on and my crazy pregnancy hormones have settled I have sat down and thought not just about the lovey dovey, ooey gooey magic that is having a baby but thought about the nitty gritty things in life which always seem to get in the way of everyone's plans. I had to realise that my life isn't just a game of Sims (yes I was a big Sim fan!) where I can use a cheat, get lots of money, eternal happiness and just keep making babies, I had to seriously think about a few things first.
Firstly, my number one priority is Tyler Lee, I had to think about whether or not next year would be the right time for him to become a big brother. I have decided that it is not. He will be nine months old next month and I still see him as my tiny baby. I am still learning his traits, personality, likes, dislikes and have so many more milestones to go through with him before I can even consider having another baby to think about and look after. If I became pregnant at this very moment I would be around four months gone by the time his first birthday was here and considering how horrifically I suffered with morning sickness on my first pregnancy what use would I be to him on one of the most special birthdays of his life never mind every other day until I gave birth. He would be almost a year and half by the time I reached my due date and how would I cope with the crippling tiredness whilst minding a wriggling toddler, I really don't think I could cope. I know there are women who have three children under the age of three and other young children very close in age and I take my hat off to them, they are absolute troopers, but for me it is not, I don't think I'd be able to survive!
Secondly, I had to think about my family's living situation. I am constantly complaining about the size of our house and how it is too small for all our things along with all the toys, clothes and baby products we have accumulated since our son was born. Imagine if we had a girl and all of these things were multiplied by two! I'm also the type of person who is very sentimental about things and won't throw things away if they have a memory attached to them, this is the reason why I have vacuum bags with clothes my son has outgrown dotted around my house, I will do something special with them, I will! Until we move to a bigger house and have room for everything we already have I don't think it's time to add a forth person to the household.
Thirdly, I thought about whether or not we could even afford a baby at this time. It's true to say my fiance supports the household. I am not working at the moment so that's a lot of money down in the family budget already. My son would still be in nappies so that is double the amount of nappies I would need, although I am always ahead with these buying a months supply at a time but still, double the amount of everything costs double the money and I think we'd really struggle if this was the case.
Fourthly I had to consider time, do we have the time for another baby? I decided that we don't. My fiance is very busy, he works a lot and is studying for his law degree. I stay at home with our son and have a very set routine with him, where would I fit in baby number two in this rigid schedule? I know that if I did happen to become pregnant that I could make time but my day would be full of constant feeding of babies. I want to get my son properly through the weaning stage and onto three family meals a day before I think about beginning the whole process with a new little person. I couldn't have a sleepless night with a newborn and then have the energy to mind my baby boy, it just wouldn't be fair on him.
I have decided that for now I just want to be my baby boy's mama. I want to relish every precious moment I have with him before bringing another special person into our lives. I want him to be walking, talking and get one-hundred per cent of my attention for awhile and I'm completely happy with my decision. Yes a new baby would be fantastic if one happened to make an appearance but I am not planning on it for now. I want to solely be my sons mother until he is at least two years old and until I feel that he is ready to be a big brother. I told my fiance that next Christmas might be the right time to start trying and you know what, he completely surprised me by saying he wanted to begin trying for our second baby next summer! Whatever we decide when next year comes I know we will have thought about it a lot and will make the perfect decision for us, our baby boy and our future baby. Ultimately the answer to "when is the right time to have a second baby" depends completely on the circumstances on the people planning on it and for us it just isn't the time right now, for others it may be but for us, no. You can be guaranteed though that if you did suddenly happen to fall pregnant you would be happy at the thought of your impending baby and when you finally got to hold them in your arms after forty long weeks you would fall completely in love with them. Okay, thinking about all these wonderful moments is now making me reminisce and yearn for these magical moments once more... I will resist! Broodiness with not overtake my voice of reasoning, it won't!